Gone are the days of 'kuchaguliwa bila kupingwa'

Dear readers, allow me to regale you with a political tale from yore. At the height of the infamous Nyayo era, a new phrase, ‘kuchaguliwa bila kupingwa’ entered the Kenyan lexicon.
This was in the wake of the massively rigged 1988 general election that were held under a new queuing system, at the time simply known as ‘mlolongo’ in Kenyan lingo.
The whole exercise was very simple. The various candidates would stand at the head of queues carrying placards bearing their images.
Voters were required to line up behind the candidate of their choice upon which a head count would be conducted by dubious electoral board officials and the results announced pronto.
But Kanu, the ruling party of the day, nay, the only party (baba na mama) at the time had no place for dissidents.
The polls were marred with numerous cases of the notorious Kanu Youth Wingers whipping up voters into line from queues of candidates perceived as being in the bad books of the powers that be to join the queues of the party’s candidates of choice.
To cut a long story short, the whole exercise was a sham.


The tragedy is that rather than resulting in free, fair and transparent polls, the secrecy of ballot boxes having been dispensed with, the 1988 polls ended up being the most flawed elections in the history of independent Kenya.
What am I ranting and raving about? Tuesday’s Athletics Kenya (AK) election brought back the old memories of those days of ‘kuchaguliwa bila kupingwa’ with some members of the athletics body’s top brass assuming office ‘unopposed’.
I don’t know exactly what informed AK’s decision to abolish the chairmanship in favour of a Presidency with four Vice Presidents in it’s new constitution.
But it all reminded me of the stormy Kanu National Delegates Conference of March 18, 2002 in Kasarani where President Daniel Arap Moi, the self-proclaimed ‘professor of politics’ pulled a fast on his overly ambitious Vice President, the late Professor George Saitoti (may his soul rest in peace), by endorsing the creation of four ambiguous posts of party Vice Presidents.
The move ultimately locked out Saitoti from the grand scheme of the Moi succession politics.
It is on this particular occasion that Saitoti made his most famous quote, “There come a time” (sic) that became popular when he passed on in a tragic plane crash on June 10, 2012.

Superstition is just part of the game

It’s strange how a sports-filled weekend is every sports editor and sub editor’s worst nightmare. The newsroom is one cauldron of a pressure cooker with very tight deadlines.
The working hours are often long, odd and irregular. Naturally, things usually get thick and misty on those crazy weekends, like the past one, when you have the final IRB Sevens leg, Manchester United’s coronation and of course the Mashemeji derby all competing for space on the sports pages. It’s not a place for the fainthearted.
So I when at the end of a back breaking day, someone in the newsroom, in total exasperation exclaimed, “This is the most thankless job in the world!” I empathized but at the same time could not suppress my laughter.
It’s on the account of the same that I missed out on my place on the stands as AFC Leopards and Gor Mahia performed the latest rendition of their age long ‘friendly war’.
In anticipation of a long hard day in the office, I made a deliberate effort to make up for the missed opportunity to watch the derby at the stadium by attending Saturday’s top of the table clash between Sofapaka and KCB at the City Stadium.

Without taking anything away from the two teams, by all standards it was an entertaining match but an unworthy substitute for the AFC-Gor showdown.
On the stands, I found myself in the company of a renowned sports presenter with a leading TV station and naturally our chit chat drifted away from action on the pitch to the much anticipated Mashemeji derby.
My affable companion went about regaling me with tales of his encounter with two teams earlier on in the day during the final training sessions at separate locations in the city.
His first stop was Nyayo Stadium where the K’Ogalo camp welcomed him with open arms. Coach Zdravko Loguruisc even had enough time for an exclusive interview!
But it was a different scenario at the Marist Centre in Karen where Leopards were going through their final paces. The players and the technical bench fell short of declaring my journalist friend ‘persona non grata’.
Apparently, a decree has been issued (by hell knows who in Ingwe’s technical bench) that the team should avoid any form of ‘contamination’ ahead of the match.
No prizes for guessing the beleaguered scribe’s ethnic background. Nothing to worry though, it’s all in the spirit of the game. Superstition is an integral part of Kenya’s biggest football league match.

Get ready for Ingwe-K'Ogalo derby!

The Monday edition of the Daily Nation is fast becoming my favourite weekly read for one simple reason.
Following the sustained efforts of our two in house columnists, Peter Leftie, yes he of the Ingwe’s Den and Tom Osanjo in K’Ogalo’s Corner, fans of Kenya’s most decorated clubs, AFC Leopards and Gor Mahia, have been inevitably sucked into this soft banter.
For those still not in the know, Leopards’ blood flows in Leftie’s veins while Osanjo, on his part, is K’Ogalo’s self-appointed ‘Praise and Worship’ leader.
Just check out their stories in the sports pages of today’s copy of the Daily Nation: Green Army, prepare for Ingwe attack, is Lefties pompous headline to which Osanjo aptly replies, Crooners will never miss the lyrics to praise storied Gor Mahia.

Boy, don’t these two gentlemen love to have a go at each other and settle matter the old fashioned way!
But it has gotten even better. My editor has also finally swept away by the K’Ogalo-Ingwe traction and set aside entire page for the fans engage in football hostilities.
Ideally, this should have been a forum for fans of all the teams to have a say, but because all the other teams have ‘no fans’ the Green Army and Ingwe fans have hogged and gobbled up the entire space.
I have been having a ball reading these interesting articles that are always biased towards one team or the other.
And with Gor and Leopards set to renew rivalries on Sunday at the Moi International Sports Centre, Kasarani you can bet your life that these verbal tirades will rage on unabated.
In the coming days it will spill over to social media where all sorts lewd obscenity will be thrown back and forth.
And when the match day finally comes, a sea of blue and white hoops will troop to the battle field to meet what, Lefties loves calling their noisy neigbours in green. Brace yourselves for total ‘war’.

In sport, a little consideration goes a long way

On Thursday night while burning the midnight oil at the office, I received an interesting text message from a certain Joel Andanje.
“Heading to Kampala for the East Africa Skating Championships. Pray for Journey mercies,” the message read.
My acquaintance Andanje is a self-made skating coach, who also holds the position of Head of Freestyle Skating in the Rollersport Kenya Federation.
We didn’t touch base again until Tuesday afternoon when Andanje called and requested me to return his call. But for some strange reason, when I tried calling back, his phone went answered.
Then on Wednesday morning I got another text from Andanje explaining his predicament. Apparently, the Kenyan contingent got stranded in Kampala soon after the championship concluded on Saturday.
In his own words, Andanje explained that the Ugandan Skating Federation reneged on their assurance to foot the Kenyan team’s accommodation and meals ostensibly after losing out on the skating course.
In the end, it took the benevolence of Kampala Coach who obliged to ferry the skaters back home even though the team was short of a whopping Sh 19,000.
I eventually got to speak Andanje late on Wednesday evening shortly after the team of 26 skaters arrived in Nairobi, thankfully in one piece.

In this age and time, do such things still happen? Our skaters tribulations across the border reminded me of one poignant incident way back in 2006 when former top tier league side Shabana got ‘stuck’ in the coastal city of Mombasa after playing a league match against Dubai Bank.
The story has it that the Kisii side started their journey to the Coast on a Friday but failed to make it in good time after their bus broke down somewhere along the way.
Somehow, the travelling party arrived in Mombasa on Saturday morning after a labourous overnight journey and headed straight to Bamburi Portland Cement ground for the match. As it were, the fatigued team suffered a 5-0 drubbing at the hands of host team.
But that was just the beginning of their troubles. Having run out of cash, the players wondered aimlessly like vagabonds in the streets of Mombasa.
It was by pure luck when they bumped on a sympathetic patron in some seedy food kiosk who catered for their meals for the night. With nowhere to go, the team spent the next twenty four hours in the rat hole of an accommodation spending their nights either on the concrete floor or on the tables after close of business.
Eventually, word reached an official of Dubai Bank FC who bailed out the team after some 48 hours in hell. It all made for a very pitiful story. Sadly, that marked the beginning of the end for once vibrant Shabana FC.

Open letter to the Cabinet Secretary for Sports, Culture and Art

Greetings Waziri Hassan Wario Arero! Allow me to begin by congratulating you on your nomination for the position of Cabinet Secretary for Sports, Culture and Arts.
Precisely seven days ago, I wrote in this very column that the sporting fraternity could not wait any longer for your identity to be revealed. Thankfully, His Excellency the President Uhuru Kenyatta spared us any further apprehension when 72 hours later he announced your name along with those of 12 other nominees for various cabinet dockets.
Honestly, your nomination took me by surprise considering that I had never heard of your name anywhere in the sporting circles before. I am embarrassed to make this confession, but the truth is I am being economical with the truth here. I was hearing your name for the first time last week. But that is beside the point. My main concern is to bring you up to speed with the goings-on in Kenyan sports. I believe this information will come in handy you when you finally assume office.
First and foremost, it would be of utmost importance for you to know that as much as the President categorically stated that your role (and that of your other Cabinet colleagues in-waiting) will be nonpolitical, everything about sports in Kenya is political!
In the course of discharging your duties be prepared to get drawn into the endless political turf wars that are synonymous with all sports federations in the country.

Be particularly wary of Football Kenya Federation (FKF). Controversy is the middle name of this federation whose past and present leaderships are known for their conniving and wily ways, especially when it comes to transparency and accountability.
But FKF will not be the only source of your headache. The equally inept Cricket Kenya (CK) and Kenya Amateur Boxing Association (ABA) are FKF’s chief partners in crime. Ever wondered why Kenya’s performance in cricket and boxing nosedived to a bottomless abyss? Well, wonder no more Bwana Waziri.
Don’t be deceived by the many medals Kenyan runners rack up at very global event; if you scratch beneath Athletics Kenya’s (AK) glossy exterior you will be surprised by the heap of dirt you will unearth.
The good performance of the Kenya 7s rugby team and the women’s national volleyball team somehow paints Kenya Rugby Union (KRU) and the Kenya Volleyball Federation (KVF) in good light. Yet, Kenya has not achieved its full potential in the two disciplines.
I won’t waste precious space on the ‘other’ such as tennis, badminton, squash, motorsport, handball, netball and basketball. There is nothing to write home about.
But being the optimist that I am, I believe you have what it takes to turn things around. At just 42 years, you are the embodiment of youthfulness in tandem with the Jubilee Coalition’s campaign clarion call for the long overdue generational change. What more! Being an Anthropologist you should be able to immortalize the past, present and future exploits of our athletes in the National Museum of our collective memories.
Finally, it’s my hope that you will take the cue from the appointing authorities (the dynamic UhuRuto duo) and roll up your sleeves for serious work once the parliamentary vetting committee clears you. Good luck Sir!

Hooliganism is here to stay!

Football. Bloody hell! Sir Alex Ferguson’s famous quip after Manchester United’s wrenched the big-eared Uefa Champions League trophy by the scruff of its neck with a dramatic stoppage time victory over Bayern Munich during that memorable 1999 Uefa Champions League final comes to mind in view of the recent happenings in Europe’s premier club competition.
Who would have thought Bayern Munich could have steamrolled the all-conquering Barcelona and that the unfancied Borussia Dortmund would have made mincemeat of the star-studded Real Madrid?
Thomas Müller and Robert Lowendowski proved to be the Spanish teams’ worst nightmares with peerless performances that reduced the unfit Lionel Messi and a largely subdued Cristiano Ronaldo to mere mortals.
“Has the power balance in European football shifted from Spain to Germany?” was the TV commentator’s punch line after Dortmund annihilated Real at the Signal Iduna Park.
But I will leave at that and wait for the return fixtures in the Spanish cities of Madrid and Barcelona.
On the domestic scene, all I have been hearing the whole week has been a raucous din about some miscreants masquerading as football fans.

While Football Kenya Federation (FKF) was busy paying lip services by imposing a ‘life bans’ on some goon who invaded a match between AFC Leopards and Chemelil Sugar, Gor Mahia fans were on the loose unleashing terror on motorists, pedestrians and traders along Jogoo Road after their team barely managed a draw against Sony Sugar.
FKF’s ban claim would have been laughable if not for the gravity of the matter. For all I know, neither FKF nor Kenyan Premier League (KPL) have the capacity or resources to impose such a penalty.
I have covered many football matches in KPL and from my observation, little or no screening is done on the ticket holders at the turnstiles.
That is why all sorts of contrabands too often find their way into the stands. During last season’s violence-marred meeting between Gor and Leopards at Nyayo, one fan was pictured carrying a gigantic water tank high up on the terraces in the troubled section.
Absence of surveillance cameras in our stadia makes it practically impossible to identify persons entering the venue.
SuperSport cameras can to some degree do the job, but not all matches are televised live. Furthermore, SuperSport is not in the business of picking out trouble spot in the stadium. Their sole interest is to televise matches. That’s why we shall have to contend with many more case of hooliganism in future EPL matches. Unfortunately so!

Can't wait for new Sports Minister

Last week when President Uhuru Kenyatta announced the structure of his new cabinet, Sports (no prizes for guessing) was lumped together with Culture and Arts.
It came as no surprise at all. This was purely in keeping with tradition. In the eyes of Uhuru’s predecessors, Mzee Jomo Kenyatta, Daniel Arap Moi and Mwai Kibaki, sports belonged to the backwaters of their cabinet structures.
I was born during Mzee Kenyatta’s sunset days but from what I gather, sports featured nowhere in his lean independence cabinet of 1963.
A look at the list of Kenyatta’s cabinet of 15 ministries, perhaps the only one that was ‘remotely’ related to sports was Eliud Mwendwa’s Ministry of Labour and Social Services.
Exit Kenyatta, enter Moi. His fetish for having all the main sporting facilities across the country named after him notwithstanding, not to mention his knack for gracing all major sporting events, Moi too didn’t consider sports worthy of having a full ministerial docket.
In fact, during the Nyayo days sports was just a department within the expansive Ministry of Culture and Social Services.
Then came Emilio Mwai Kibaki. Apart from his love for golf, the immediate former president was overtly aloof to sports.
Ironically, he was the first Head of State to grant sports a visible docket, albeit under the Ministry of Youth, Gender and Sports.

During their well-oiled campaign in the run up to March 14 General Election, the ruling Jubilee Coalition identified the country’s sporting challenge thus (and I quote their manifesto verbatim):
“Our collective love for sports and the arts is one of the strongest factors that unite us. In the sporting arena we are world leaders in middle and long distance running. At home our culture is vibrant and thriving. However, successive Governments have too often neglected sports and creative industries. As a result, the potential in these sectors have not been accorded a chance to improve our quality of life or boost our economy.”
To this end, the Jubilee manifesto outlined a 16-point blueprint as a viable solution.
As we wait with bated breaths for President Uhuru Kenyatta and Deputy President William Ruto to reveal the identities of the office bearers of their 18-ministry cabinet later this week, it is my hope that the two principals will appoint in the Sports, Culture and Arts Ministry someone capable of maximizing the great potential of this multi-billion shillings industry.
Key in Jubilee’s ambitious manifesto is the establishment of a National Lottery Scheme, the establishment of state-of-the-art youth development centres in all the 47 Counties and building of five new sports stadia in Kisumu, Mombasa, Nakuru, Eldoret and Garissa while at the same time upgrading existing sporting facilities at the county level.
Clearly, the yet to be named Sports, Culture and Arts Minister already has his/her work cut towards achieving this ambitious plan. The Kenyan sporting fraternity will be keenly watching to see whether indeed, they ‘should believe, yawezekana, kusema na kutenda’.
Failure to which, the Jubilee Government will be held to account for their lofty promises.